Link, Stop Crouching

Blue bokoblins will be the death of me. I tried to raid a couple more camps, but the first one was a trap. There were 3 blue bokoblins in it. I hightailed it out of there. Then I spotted a guy prancing around (literally) in a robe. In Mid Air! I thought that was a neat trick, so I went over to have a nice chat. But when he spotted me he started shooting me with🔥! I kept my cool though and iced that fucker. When I was walking under the Duelling Peaks I met a meat merchant (whose name I have already forgotten, unfortunately. I really need to unfry my brain pan). We were chatting it up when two things (Lizalfos) jumped out of the river at us. Fortunately I am a great warrior. But later I was doing a raid on a simple bokoblin camp. Just one blue one. The asshole got a lucky shot at my ribs with his club. I exercised the better part of valor. I am very bruised now. Ow.

I couldn't get my horse to cross the river so I had to leave home behind. Goodbye horse :(

I caught a horse! There was a bokoblin riding one so I shot it off with my arrow. Me and the horse are best buds now. I will never be lonely again, I can feel it. In other news, it's been a full month since I woke up. Let's summarize what happened. I met the ghost of an old king who told me that I must rescue his daughter and kingdom. The first step towards there is finding Impa in Kakariko village. I haven't quite gotten around to that yet, but the shrine orbs are so so delicious. I can't resist them. And the goddess's blessing is... dare I say, divine?

I was leaving the stable and they let me borrow their raft. It is a pretty nifty thing. You can ride it and by swinging a Korok leaf around get up to incredible speeds. The only problem is dealing with Octoroks. I guess I haven't described those yet. They're like weird balloon things that hid underwater or underground and try to kill you by spitting rocks. They're really week, but because they hide under the water are really hard to kill. When I got to the next shrine I was investigating, there was a woman there (Magda) who went ballistic on me about stepping on her flowers. She had planted them all around the shrine. I very gingerly stepped around them, which was crazy insane because they were infested with chuchus. She wouldn't even let me step on them then! If the chuchus can step on your flowers, why can't I?

I was heading to one of the shrines I had spotted earlier. It wasn't too far out of the way. When I saw that it was located next to a stables. There were so many people there. 4. There were 4 whole real people. The proprietor of the Riverside Inn, which had a very comfortable bed. The merchant Beedle, who is the only one whose name I can remember. And a couple of travelers fascinated by the castle. One was a gourmet, and he asked me if I could bring a cookbook from the castle for him. Based on what I've heard though it's way too dangerous. The other traveler was an adventurer. She would go on expeditions for treasure into the 🏰. She told me of a few ways in, though apparently they have gotten more dangerous recently (I wonder if that has something to do with me). Anyways, I am so celebrating meeting a number of non-ghost people. Please be non-ghosts everyone.

I got to the temple, and the goddess gave me her blessing. It was so so sweet. I need to seek out more shrines. There are a couple more in my way. I decided to head back to the Shrine of Resurrection, figuring maybe a shrine is a shrine, but no. No monks or orbs here. Just another Korok. After I went to sleep Zelda spoke to me again, the blood moon rises once again, and Ganon's power grows. Maybe I shouldn't dilly dally too much. But what's a few extra months if everyone has been waiting 100 years.

The two shrines up here are connected. They had some good loot in them. A spear and longblade that are just amazingly well made. and of course delicious spirit orbs. Being able to fly between the two Duelling Peaks is awesome. I don't know how I'd handle this trip otherwise. Well, lots of climbing up and down probably. It comes to mind that after I finish the second shrine up here I'll have enough orbs to pray for a blessing. I guess I'll head back to the Temple of Time soon.

Inside the shrine I found an awesome magical climbing bandana. Well I figured it's time to try out this bandana and climb to the top of duelling peaks, especially since there's a shrine there. When I got up there though, I discovered there was not one, but 2 shrines present. Excite.

I made it to the second tower. It loaded a bit more map into my slate. This is apparently the West Necluda region. Half the view is blocked by the gigantic Duelling Peaks mountains. Unlocking the tower also unlocked a new function on my slate. I now sense nearby shrines. And there was one right near. So I ran for it. I was so excited that I forgot to look around from atop The tower, but it's probably OK. I can practically taste that spirit orb.

I ran into a merchant! The local currency is rupees which are kind of like emeralds, but fake I think? I've found a few of them in the ruins, so I bought some arrows from the merchant. I like to have a full quiver. We talked a bit, he let me have his axe, friendly guy. I somewhat foolishly discarded my previous axe because it was too heavy. I still can't remember anyone's name though. Except Zelda and Misko. Some of the lease useful names to remember. I hope the merchant doesn't pick up that I've forgotten his name. I can't help but wonder if I suffered some sort of brain damage while I was asleep for 100 years. A very specific brain damage that makes me forget names? What if it's more than that though? That's worrysome. Anyways, new camping buddy so that's cool.

I met a person today! A real living person. I'm pretty sure. He was a guard patrolling a bridge. We chatted. It was cool. Seems like he took the rising of the towers as some kind of bad omen, so I didn't mention that that was my fault. He mentioned that guardians near the castle can actually walk around. That is scary. But human contact is so beautiful I nearly cried. Even just a few weeks alone with ghosts and head voices can mess with you. It's nice to know that life and trade are still going strong in the world. I also found another of Misko's diaries. He really seems to have left treasure all over the place. Maybe when I'm more familiar with the geography I can find some of them.

I found a journal left by some bandit detailing the location of treasure. It's somewhere in Hyrule field. Too bad I don't have that on my map. Really wish I could see the whole region. I also found another shrine. The whole monk and spirit orb deal. But no wizard powers this time. I'm starting to really like these spirit orbs. They fill me with resolution and apparently I can trade them for power.

It was a fairly uneventful day, just looting some ruins finding some koroks, killing some monsters. But after I went to sleep, I was awoken by The Voice (aka Zelda). She told me to be careful and look at the moon. The moon was a crazy bright red with wisps of red coming out of it. Really freaky. According to Zelda all the monsters I killed are now alive again. Not sure how to deal with this. How can I make any area safe if the monsters keep coming back? Another reason to take down Calamity Ganon.

I flew off the great plateu today. Pretty awesome, though I think the king liked to me and I could've just climbed down. Down below I found a new type of monster called the Moblin. It was huge. Like 3 times my size. It hit me with a tree trunk. I fought one of them off, but 2 more were coming for me, so I performed a tactical retreat. I am so so bruised now. Ow.

Finally made my way to the temple of time today.  On my way there I found some pants that actually fit, so that was a big plus. But when I got there things started getting really crazy. First the old man wasn't there, but there was a statue of the goddess. And when I approached there was another voice in my head. This one congratulating me on getting 4 spirit orbs. I felt weird and awkward so I figured, I'm in a temple, a goddess is taking to me, I should pray. And so I did. And I got a blessing! I feel more resilient now. That's when the old man showed up and said to meet him on the roof. I ran up there and he revealed that he is a 👻. A ghost. So to reiterate, I have still not seen any real people it turns out. Just ghosts, monsters and many many voices in my head. Anyways, according to him the original voice in my head was princess Zelda, his daughter. Him being the last king of Hyrule (is it bad that I've forgotten his name already?) Also, I'm apparently ov

So I was walking towards the temple, finding koroks, slaying bokoblins, just doing my thing. When the stones started moving. There was a monster made of rock. How do you even fight a thing like that? It had arms that could pulverize me in a single strike. Well I fought it. If it's made of rock, I can use a sledgehammer to bring it down. I climbed onto its back and hit the portion that appeared to be it's brainpan until it was dead. And then I was rich, it was filled with gems! Rubies and amber mostly. If... only there were people around who weren't all in my head.

So I got the final shrine. New wizard power: freeze water. These are all so awesome. But when I came out, the old man was there again, he told me to meet him at the temple, and then he disappeared. Literally vanished into thin air. It's been a week since I woke up, so I decided to review. I heard a voice in my head on the first day telling me to save the world. Haven't heard it since. Met an old man who might not exist who asked me to find treasure that he no longer seems interested in. Explored a land of ruins and monsters to find monks granting strange powers. The only things I really know are that I'm a good hunter and fighter, and that something strange is happening here. I've got to keep my wits about me. But I'm going to have to head down the mountain to meet that old man. Oh, today I raided another bokoblin camp, and one of them threw a barrel at me, which exploded and hurt. Ow.

I climbed to the top of the mountain. THE OLD MAN was there. How? He couldn't have used his glider to get up here. What is he not telling me?

Me and the old man went out and chopped some wood for his cottage, I raided another bokoblin camp (I always check for blue bokoblins now, to make sure I'm not going to get into a fight of my life). Then we had a cooking contest. We both declared me the winner, due to the spicy seafood dish I cooked, and my prize was a warm doublet. It's nice to have clothes that fit, but it is a little itchy Then I crossed a chasm on a tree trunk. Terrifying. Then climbed up a cliff (forearms of steel!) and met a monk in a shrine. It's getting to be pretty routine. I got a new wizard power out of it, so I'm cool with that. I can now freeze things in place temporarily. They just, stop moving, no matter what. Pretty cool. Tomorrow I begin my ascent up the mountain, but I'm running out of chu chu jelly. I hope the amount I have will last, or I won't be able to make camp.

There was no simple way into the shrine, but the guardians around it we're slow to target and shoot. I managed to dash from one bit of cover to the next and avoid their blasts. In the shrine was another monk (whose name I also forgot) talking to me. There was another wizard power received, I can now make bombs out of thin air! (Or at least my slate can). Again the shrine seemed designed to test my proficiency with these bombs. I found a claymore and a gem inside, which was good. And again the monk gave me a "sprit" orb. They do seem to make me feel better when I get them. Calmer somehow. And I need calm because other than that old man I haven't seen a single soul. All around are ruins and no people, only monsters. What happened here? There are a ton of guardian wrecks around this place, some somewhat functional. It looks like they attacked it. After the shrine I tried blowing up these guardians with my new bombs, but they weren't making a dent. I walked off, bu

I raided another bokoblin camp today. But there was this blue bokoblin with them who was much much tougher. He nearly killed me with that club of his. Afterwards I made my way to the second shrine, but it was guarded by a much tougher guardian. Fortunately it's stuck in the ground so I ran away from it. I don't think my weapons could even make a dent in that thing. I'm still looking for another way in.

I went to the tower today. There were no ladders or anything, so I had to climb it using the weblike material holding the tower together Climbing it should have been difficult, but I have very strong forearms it turns out. The old man was up there, we chatted a bit and I took surveyed the landscape around us. I noticed 2 very interesting things. There's some sort of flying island in the far off distance. And on the volcano there is some sort of giant monster crawling around it. That thing must be huge to be able to see from this distance. I also found the other three shrines, as well as one more off this plateau. Oh yeah , I'm on a plateau.  I headed off to the nearest one so I surprised a bokoblin camp and stole their food and camped there for the night.

Well, I went to the shrine, but it was locked. Fortunately my slate once again acted as a key. Then there was an elevator inside. I went down to the shrine. And there was another voice. At least that one wasn't in my head. It seemed to come from all around. It was apparently some monk, whose name I managed to already forget (it's ok if I need to talk to him again, my slate recorded it), of the Goddess Hylia. Learning a lot of names today. And forgetting them too of course. And then the monk made me a wizard. I think? There was another pedestal and it poured something into my slate, and afterwards there was a new function. I can use to move really heavy metal objects now. Like ridiculously heavy. The shrine seemed to be designed to test my mastery of this function. The shrine had a guardian, but I defeated it easily. Seemed to be some kind of shiny spider? No fangs though. It was made out of gears and stuff. Not really any treasure though. There was just a bow, but it's

Hello, my name is Link. At least, that's what the voice in my head refers to me as. I woke up today with no memories, naked, in some kind of water tank dealy, locked inside a mountain. I shit you not. I picked up this strange phablet thing (a Sheikah Slate, says the voice), that I'm writing this on, and it unlocked the mountain. Fortunately there were some clothes nearby, but they're a little small on me. So I went outside and saw that I'm in a surrounded by ruins. I don't know what happened here, but it must've been bad. There was an old man camping nearby. I was so hungry I picked up his apple without thinking about it, but he was cool with it. We talked about some of the ruins nearby. Then the voice in my head spoke again. It said I must follow the directions on my Sheikah slate. I said goodbye to the old man (who also gave me a torch and axe), and set out for the ping. On my way there I was attacked by monsters (the Sheikah slate says bokoblins and chu chu